TaskHusky Curated Newsletter #028

Those FMCG are so LOL, Google’s “Diversity Update,” Jeff Bezos Makes Me Wash My Hands, and more.

July 09, 2019

Yo -

So … what do you think of the term “fizzle-spit?” Seriously … I just made it up writing about Google’s new algorithm update. It just kind of came out of me. It’s supposed to mean “all hype” or – as Shakespeare would say – “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”

That’s from Macbeth ‘cuz I’m all smart and stuff.

Any-who … maybe it will make sense when you read it in context. Here are this week’s top stories.

1. A Google SEO Opportunity or Just Fizzle-Spit?

Google does two big fancy-dancy updates to their search algorithm each year. What is the “Google search algorithm” you ask? It’s a bazillion lines of spaghetti code hidden in a black box under an invisibility cloak that controls search results. No one understand the code but Grand Evil Wizard Sauron himself, and even then we think most of it’s random tyranny. Got it?

So, Google does this big update twice per year and the second one of 2019 just went down in June. This one arrived in two batches – the June Core Update and the “Diversity Update” that arrived a few days later. And even though the term “Diversity Update” sounds like a mandatory seminar at a corporate HR convention, it’s actually something else entirely. And it might open up a window for a few enterprising SEO practitioners out there by busting up search monopolies. Will it work or is it all just fizzle-spit? We'll see. And since it’s so new, we wrote about it ourselves.

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2. Speaking of SEO, We’re Looking for Two Volunteers

File this under shameless self-promotion if you want to, but we’re looking for a few volunteers. One of our marketing services is an SEO audit. We do an in-depth analysis of your SEO and – here’s the cool part – the SEO of your competitors. We then write up a detailed, written, completely custom report and tell you how to up your game. It’s all confidential stuff. We charge $299 for it. But we want to have two of these things that we have permission to share … sort of like case studies or example reports. So, we are going to let two Shopify stores have it for half price IF you let us use it publicly. Seriously … just two. If you want it, log in to your TaskHusky account, order the SEO Audit, and use the promo code AUDITMEZACH at checkout.

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3. OMG! Those FMCG are so LOL!

Acronyms suck. Seriously. Used to be that a good acronym meant something serious and important like CIA, DoD, and FUBAR. Nowadays every teenager with an Instagram account is BFF-ing up the English language beyond all recognition. Not to be outdone, product marketing gurus have their own language of acronyms that will bore you to tears. Case in point: FMCG. It stands for “Fast Moving Consumer Goods” and it applies to all of the stuff that sells with a high churn rate and usually low margins. Think of things like shaving razors and lipstick. And even though we have pinnacle representations of culture like Dollar Shave Club and Kylie Cosmetics jamming the profits in this category, the US is actually WAY behind some parts of the world. While some consumers in Korea buy 20% of their FMCG products online, here in the US it’s just 4.4%.

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4. Amazon Primes the Pump

Every time I write about Jeff Bezos I feel like have to wash my hands. And not with normal soap … I want to compulsively scrub with that orange anti-bacterial soap that doctors use to prevent infections. But I must because – in between destroying worlds all-Thanos-style – Lord Bezos sits atop the eCommerce throne of power. So, this is just a heads up.

We are exactly one week away from Amazon Prime Day. It’s basically Amazon’s private Black Friday in July and they sell a TON of cra# …. I mean products. And because little things like singular and plural nouns are meaningless, Amazon Prime Day lasts for two days this year – July 15

and 16

. If you sell on Amazon, maybe you are a part of the chaos. If you don’t, maybe you see a sales dip on those two days as Amazon steals attention share.

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Maybe I can get some of that orange doctor soap on Amazon.

5. Walmart … Stop Your Whining!

Amazon lost money for a LONG time. As it is, their margins are razon thin. Walmart is making tons of profit. But they came late to the eCommerce game and are playing catchup – buying businesses and applications to up their game. They have only been at it for three years for goodness sake. But it seems that the CEO and certain large shareholders are getting all gripey about take a 5% loss in eCommerce operations as they try to get up to speed.

Wake up and smell the cheap Kirkland coffee Walmart! You’re in a fight for your life.

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So, it’s Monday as I’m writing this and the United States Women’s Soccer Team won the World’s Cup yesterday. I’m not a big soccer fan … OK, I didn’t know what soccer was until last week. But Yea Team!

Seriously, though … they’ve won a bunch over the years so good on them. They’ve worked hard and deserve it. I hope that they all get their pictures on a Wheaties box and big shoe endorsement contracts. And if they’re really good, someone will share this championship newsletter with them too … because they deserve it.

Happy Selling,

Zachary